(Please be patient while the pictures load)

TBILISI, GEORGIA

DECEMBER 2007


Sameba Cathedral was completed in 2004

Georgia: Hard as it is to believe, my fellow Americans, there really is a nation called Georgia run by a president who was educated in the United States. Even harder to believe is it was only last month the same Western-leaning president, Mikhail "Misha" Saakashvili, put his small country under a state of emergency after pulling the plug on the opposition as they began to gain steam. Things are totally calm for now, but any number of developments could throw this country into chaos, and my hunch is it's the Georgians who will come out on the losing end.

Georgia in the news: Trying to wrap your head around what's going on in here requires a certain level of dedication. Here's the short version.

1. Georgia is seeking NATO membership. This annoys Russia, because its leaders don't appreciate losing control over areas that were once under its sphere of influence. They also have an issue with NATO countries knocking on their door. Whether Georgia likes it or not, they are a pawn in the modern geopolitical chess game between Russia and the United States.

2. Georgia has more than doubled its troop levels in Iraq, to 2,000 soldiers from 850. Georgia has the second largest troop presence among American allies in Iraq, behind Britain. President Saakashvili once joked he could turn more heads walking through Congress than Britney Spears. (New York Times)

3. On November 7th, the government cleared opposition protesters from Tbilisi's main street (Rustaveli) after five days of demonstrations. The move went wrong as the opposition called in reinforcements, provoking riot police into liberal use of batons and tear-gas. A state of emergency was declared and opposition television stations were taken off the air. The next day Mr. Saakashvili declared that he would hold a snap presidential election on January 5th. "You wanted early elections," he said. "Have them even earlier!" (The Economist)

4. Two regions, Abkhazia and South Ossetia, are seeking independence from Georgia. These areas have voted for their independence and are solidly backed by Russia, but they are still internationally recognized as part of Georgia. You can't begin to imagine the amount of grief this has caused.

Here are some examples:

  • 250,000 Abkhazian refugees are scattered around Georgia. One foreigner living here told me they are made to feel unwelcome and are treated very poorly.

  • Russia essentially controls Abkhazia. They have issued Russian passports to its citizens and use the ruble as their currency. It's almost impossible to travel there from Georgia; the entry point is from Russia.

  • In August 2007, Georgia claimed that a Russian warplane violated Georgian airspace and released a missile after flying over South Ossetia. The missile, whatever its source, did not explode and no injuries were reported, but the incident raised concerns that Russia was trying to intimidate Georgia. Russia hotly denied that one of its warplanes had strayed into Georgia. Some Russian officials accused Georgia of staging the incident to justify sending troops into South Ossetia. (AP)

  • Last fall, the Kremlin responded to Georgia's detention of Russian military officers on spying charges with a massive transport blockade, and hundreds of Georgians living in Russia were accused of breaking the immigration law and deported. (AP & BBC)

  • I'll bet very few Georgians have ever been to Kosovo (which is still part of Serbia) and vice-versa. What's really remarkable is that events in Kosovo could have an enormous impact on the future of Georgia. Russia's President Vladimir Putin has plainly stated that if Kosovo gains independence from Russian-backed Serbia, then Abkhazia and South Ossetia will declare independence from Georgia. The U.S. State Department has argued under that logic, Chechnya and Dagestan who want independence from Russia should also be free.

    Train trip to Tbilisi: Before the train left Baku, a scruffy man selling low-quality goods came walking through. Sharing my sleeper car were a father and his daughter, and the loving dad bought her a portable FM radio to keep her entertained. I couldn't believe he forked over US$5 for something that was so clearly obsolete. Think about it. When was the last time you knew anybody who bought a portable FM radio? Didn't this guy realize that she would lose the signal within 10 minutes of leaving the city? Before that inevitable moment came, we all enjoyed some Russian pop songs alternating with English ones more familiar to me. I sang along with the ones I knew and got the impression they thought I was mentally ill. Imagine this poor 18-year-old girl and her dad trapped in a closet-sized sleeping car with some American nut crooning "You Spin Me Round (Like a Record)".

    The overnight train from Baku to Tbilisi took about 15 hours. A great deal of time was spent at the Azerbaijan/Georgia border. I learned from prior experience in similar countries there wouldn't be a single scrap of food for sale on this train. I had gone to the supermarket and stocked up on all sorts of non-perishables. I didn't want to find myself skulking around begging for food as I'd done on previous occasions. Near the end of the trip, it was one of the workers who was asking for my walnuts. I arrived in Tbilisi really tired but definitely not hungry.

    As I exited the station, not one person asked me if I wanted a taxi. For the first time in history somebody missed out on an opportunity to rip off a newly-arrived, exhausted foreigner. I decided to find my own way and lugged my baggage down into Tbilisi's metro. As I stood at the platform trying to decipher the signs, a local woman who spoke perfect English asked if I needed help. She got on the train with me then handed me off to two attitude-filled high school girls who were supposed to show me my stop. They looked at me like, "And we're involved with this why?"

    I arrived at the guesthouse where I intended to stay; it was full. There were two hotels next door. One of the hotels wanted US$70 but went down to US$60; the other wanted US$50 but went down to US$40. Meanwhile, the water pipes under the street were being replaced, so there was no running water. Basically, I paid US$40 for a shabby hotel room without any water. Eventually I moved back to the guesthouse for US$30; by then the water had come back on.

    Georgia vs. Georgia: We have so much in common!

    Georgia's state of emergency: A mass protest ends on an ugly note. No more news programming on the opposition television station. Early elections. Help!
    Georgia's state of emergency: Atlanta's primary source of water, Lake Lanier, is down to its last slurp. Driving from one end of Atlanta to the other during rush hour? Help!

    Georgia's gift to humanity: Josef Stalin
    Georgia's gift to humanity: Jimmy Carter

    Popular Georgia tourist attraction: The brand new McDonald's
    Popular Georgia tourist attraction: The Coca Cola Museum

    The streets of Georgia: George W. Bush became the first sitting U.S. president to visit the country. The street leading to Tbilisi International Airport has since been dubbed George W. Bush Avenue. (Wikipedia)
    The streets of Georgia: Atlanta has at least a dozen streets with the word "Peachtree" in its name.

    Which lyrics are NOT about Georgia, U.S.A.?
    "Just an old, sweet song keeps Georgia on my mind"
    "And I'll be with him on that midnight train to Georgia"
    "The devil went down to Georgia, he was looking for a soul to steal"
    "That's the night the lights went out in Georgia"
    "And Georgia's always on my-my-my-my-my-my-my-my-my-mind"

    My Experience in Georgia: I don't recall being as universally ignored by locals as much as in this country. I know I don't look Georgian, so that's not it. Maybe it's because my coat is filthy and I stink like a pig. I realize I'm the one at fault here, because I don't speak the language. But even so, there's usually at least one person who looks my way and laughs out loud. Ah, I'm not complaining. I liked this place plenty and truth be told, I'd rather be left alone than constantly harassed.

    Money, fun, and exuberance are flowing through Tbilisi from all directions.
    Little more than five years ago, citizens routinely tapped into public telephone
    and electricity cables for service; no one paid taxes; everyone took bribes. It
    has all changed with bewildering speed. The police don't take bribes, the mafia
    has fled, and new roads are being paved. (Tbilisi) is a place alive with optimism
    and possibility.     -- Travel and Leisure magazine

    Tell that to the two aid workers I met who had separately been beaten and robbed while walking alone at night. One of them got his head bashed in with a rock; the other still had his face wrapped up in a ridiculous bandage. The latter had enough; he was going home. Although Tbilisi is much safer than it once was, you really need to be vigilant here. Nobody carries a backpack, so if you do, you must be from a place where money falls from the sky.

    Tbilisi Metro: It's small and efficient with only two lines and one transfer point. All subways built by the Soviets are basically the same. It's just a matter of how large the system is. I'm always amazed by how deep they are. The escalator to and from the platform at Rustaveli station takes exactly two minutes and ten seconds. On top of that, the escalators move about twice as fast as the ones back home. Now that's deep.

    Adopted: On the train from Tbilisi to Batumi I met a brother and sister who were returning home. The sister invited me to stay with her six family members in their small apartment. They took me in and immediately tried to find me a wife. The thing is, there is no such thing as dating here. You are either friends, engaged, or married. I explained the whole dating process to them, but it didn't get through. They were great people who fed me until I was about to explode, and although they all had cell phones, none of them had ever used a computer. Oh, and if I ever go back, I'm bringing a space heater for that frozen bedroom they put me in.

    Other Observations:

  • The currency here is called the lari. My first name is Larry. Guess what that means? It means all day long when people talked about money, I thought they were calling out my name. Imagine if someone visiting the United States were named Dollar or someone visiting Mexico, Peso. What a headache. I'm just glad my name isn't Dram (Armenia) or Rupee (India).

  • Walking around the city can be annoying because people occasionally drive and park on the sidewalks.

  • Sometimes people make the sign of the cross three times when going past a church.

  • When people see me writing with my left hand, they take the pen out of my left and put it in my right hand. Hasn't anyone here seen a lefty before?

  • Police cars have external speakers, and as they race down the street one of the officers barks out orders to all the other vehicles in their path.

  • "Life is really hard here," whispered a woman to me on the subway. I disagree with her. Life is really hard in Zimbabwe, where the conservative estimate for inflation runs at about 7,000%, and the average life span is 37 years. But in Georgia? Seems like life's not really all that bad.


    Georgia's government looks towards the West and
    is considered a good friend of the United States.


    Coffee mugs for sale in a pedestrian passageway below
    Rustaveli, the main street. The mugs appeared to have
    gotten through the recent demonstrations unscathed.


    "Bedisa, do you think we will still be friends in forty years?"


    "Hush your mouth, Gogutsa! Of course we will!"


    Attention tabloids: I'm selling my paparazzi shot of
    a wasted Shrek leaving a club after a night out


    Walk-up tobacco shop. Warning: smoking tobacco can ruin your teeth.

    So, in case you need a dentist, here are three choices:



    "I give the dental care here two thumbs up!"


    "I give my restaurant two thumbs up!"


    "Bee Movie"


    Beeline cellular service


    The Beatles night club ("dedicated to John Winston Lennon")


    Man, I really wish I paid more attention in my high school Georgian classes!


    A large Pepsi advertisement on Freedom Square


    So that's what happened to Tony Soprano!


    The Buffalo Bill Saloon has an American theme


    I'm lovin' the predictable food and the easily accessible restroom!


    Hmmmm. You might want to be a little less obvious.


    Operator, I'd like to make a collect call? Does anybody even do that anymore?

    Tbilisi isn't the

    city in the world, but it certainly was interesting.

    Click here for pictures of some statues in Tbilisi